Monday..

well today was just another day at school..
no new.. friends? i suppose..
today was an okay day..
only today at lunch i left for the restroom..
something didn't feel entirely right.
i get there and i literally started coughing up blood..
so i didn't know what to do..
i was freaking out.. that has never happened to me..
i'm scared that everything might just be getting worse..
instead of better..
the doctor said that the medication would help..
but so far.. nothing..
i guess it's helped a little..
i dont feel as sick anymore.. so maybe.. just maybe..
but you can never be to sure..
i just want to make it through senior year..
that way when i say goodbye it could either be permanent..
or not..
it all just depends on how this shit goes..
i'm hoping that by senior year it'll be to the point where..
i'm perfectly healthy..
but i just dont know.. at this rate..
things aren't looking so good..
i figured i would keep this blog.. in case someone cool came across it..
maybe some day in the future they'll have the cure for this..
god i hope so..
whether i live that long or succumb to the statistic..
i just dont think i would want someone to go through this like i have..
its hard enough..
trying to distance yourself because you just never know..
having to give up so much.. because your not sure..
its hard sometimes.. i've lost a ton of friends..
and a ton of people i care deeply about..
so far the only people that know are
Tyler N.
Jake S.
and
Peter M.
i'm not sure i want to tell anyone else..
i dont want people to worry..
maybe after if i perhaps pass on from this..
i'll have someone tell my story..
or maybe i'll write my own story..
perhaps that would be more effective..
well thats all for today i guess..
there hasn't been to much going on..
i'll update again tomorrow..
keep reading :)

Sammy ♥♥♥